Renesmee

(In the hospital...)

Kit Kat: Omg! It's a girl Edward! Just like you expected!
Edward: She has your hair, she's just as pretty as you. Even prettier than weirdo Bella.
Kit Kat: Why did you even break up with Bella? In the book, you were meant for each other.
Edward: The book is a liar. Stephanie Meyers told the story the way she wanted. I just came into the room to be interviewed about what HOT vampires do.
Kit Kat: Oh..
Edward: Yeah...
Bella: (Clothes ripped) First she stole my boyfriend, 2nd got me stuck with stinkin' Jacob, and 3rd I JUST HATE HER!
Edward: Ohh... I see a tree outside wearing clothes. :)
Kit Kat: Where is the tree with clothes? I bet Renesmee would like to play with it. :)
Edward: Wait, that isn't a tree, that's a hobo.
Bella: I'M NOT A HOBO!!
Kit Kat: Omg Edward! The hobo tree talks! Get me away from that hobo tree freak!
Bella: I'm no HOBO TREE FREAK! Now give me back my Eddie!
Edward: I HATE that nickname! Omg! Kit Kat, I get it now, the hobo tree is Bella!
Kit Kat&Edward: Wait, she is a hobo tree. Lol.
Edward: Let me, see "Hobo Tree" Bella for a sec.
Kit Kat: Ok, Edward. :)

Bella: Oh, Edward, I knew you'd come back for me! (tears of happiness)
Edward: Actually, I came here to ask you a favor. And even in your dreams, we'd never be together.
Bella: Uhh.. ok.
Edward: Thanks, here's the favor. Can you plz take care of my baby?
Bella: Oh, yes Edward! Anything for you!
Edward: Thanks.
Bella: Don't I get anything in return?
Edward: Yes. I'll be your boyfriend if you promise to take care of my baby.
Bella: Ok (Ekkkk, Omg, Edward is my guy again!!!)

(5 weeks of diaper changing, playing, and caring for Renesmee.)

Edward: How's my girl?
Bella: She's fine, now will you be my guy?
Edward: Actually, I lied, so you could take care of Renesmee while me and Kit Kat were on our 5th honey moon.
Bella: You lied to me? You, my boyfriend, lied to me? How could you?
Edward: I was NEVER your boyfriend Bella! I only worked there to be payed! And make me famous of course, and plus, when you thought we were kissing, I stuck a slug towards your lips. Anyways, your breath always smells like musty doritos. BONUS, you NEVER BRUSH YOUR TEETH, DODO!
Bella: No wonder, my lips were always slimy.
Edward: Yeah... I should be going now.
Bella: Oh, well, I don't need you! I got Jacob!
Edward: Uhh... I hired Jacob to kill you if i gave him 5 steak bones.
Bella: Oh, no AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Rip, Tear, Bite, Chomp, Lick, YUM, BURP.)

THE END

CC

Hey guys! I just changed the Edward blog template. Don't u luv it Kit Kat?!

ture

The more rob the better!! ture

                         kit kat

Edward and Kit Kat

Edward: Kit Kat, I can't wait until our children come.
Kit Kat: Awww.. Edward, that's so dearly sweet of you. (Kit Kat rubs her hand on her belly)
Edward: I can tell it's a girl.
Kit Kat: What shall we name her?
Edward: What about Renesmee?
Kit Kat: That's a beautiful name Edward.
(KISS)
(Bella looks into the window of the Cullens home with fury)
Bella: I'll get Edward for doing this to me!
Jacob: Hey Bella, I found you.
Bella: Nooooo!!
(Jacob carries Bella away)
THE END.